Title:	Uncle Bety
Featured on	Missing Pieces
Lyrics by	Eric Wahl

Drove up to the house, quarter to one
Little did I know, I wouldn't have any fun
I cried and cried a lot, hoping to stay home
We're on our way now, they just got off the phone

It would have been better perhaps if they had cable
"Go and have some fun," they said, although I was unable
They didn't have a couch, just a blanket and a chair
Did I really have to come? This really is unfair

Is it he or she?
I guess I'll never know
I hope it doesn't kiss me
I want to go home

Sitting at the table, about to eat supper
The splinters from the chair are hurting me down under
I just cannot believe that we're all still eating dinner
Don't these people realize they aren't getting any thinner?

Is it he or she?
I guess I'll never know
I hope it doesn't kiss me
I want to go home

Every bit confusing, this relative of mine
Long hair and a beard, it messes with my mind
The dreaded kiss is near, I brace myself alone
Now the kiss is done and now we're going home

Is it he or she?
I guess I'll never know
I hope it doesn't kiss me
I want to go home